If you’re asking the question: “how can I save a bad relationship” than the answer might be, why save it when you can improve it?  There’s really not a lot of reason to try to salvage a relationship that brings you more misery than joy.  If, on the other hand, you and your partner have both expressed a desire to make things better and you are both willing to work together, you won’t be saving a rotten relationship, you’ll be taking a bad relationship and making it great!

Relationships will always have some ups and downs.  If both people are mature enough to be able to have real discussions about what the problems are, as well as being honest enough to accept responsibility for  their part of the problems, than the two of you have a really good chance of making your relationship better.

If one of the partners is immature and unwilling to make changes or even discuss the problems than I’m sorry to say it but your relationship is already over.  You can stay if you want but don’t expect things to ever get better.  It takes both parties working together to overcome problems in any relationship, one person can’t do it all.

If the two of you have decided that you are both willing to try the first thing you need to do is find better ways to communicate.  What happens in many relationships is that one party gets upset and yells at the other person who will eventually just tune out their partner.  No one wins and both of you are miserable.

True communication isn’t about which of you is right and which one is wrong, it’s about trying to make your partner understand what you are feeling and why you are feeling that way.  It’s also about your partner trying to listen and not get defensive or upset, but try to listen openly to what you are trying to explain.

If both of you can learn to talk, and listen, properly you’ll find that things in your relationship will go a lot smoother.

Here is an example of what I mean:  Lets say that there is a situation where the girlfriend doesn’t like some of her boyfriends buddies, maybe because all they want to do is go out and party and all his friends are single so she gets a little insecure when they go out.  That is a valid way for her to feel, but it’s also valid that her boyfriend spends some time with his friends.  If she wants to discuss this with her boyfriend, she will be wasting her breath and time if she just starts screaming at him, accusing him of cheating on her, and bursting into tears.

That is a totally unhealthy way to deal with the situation.  He will feel like he is being attacked, which he is, and she will feel like she’s being ignored, which she is.

A better approach would be for her to find a time when they can sit and talk, when they are both calm and not angry and when neither of them is tired or in a rush.  She should then calmly explain that while she understands that he has the right to spend time with his friends that she would feel better about it if that time was spent going golfing, or to a basketball game, etc and not to a club.   That is a perfectly reasonable request presented to him in a reasonable manner.

Now his response will tell her a lot about where he is coming from and how he really feels about her and their relationship.  By approaching her boyfriend calmly and intelligently, instead of screaming at him like a banshee, she has allowed for an open discussion.  If, after that, her boyfriend refuses to make any changes than the sad reality is that he likes going out to the clubs and is more than likely flirting with other girls, at the minimum.  He doesn’t really care that much about his girlfriend, her feelings, or their relationship.  It’s time for her to move on.

The next time you feel like asking: “how can I save a bad relationship” try these tips so you won’t be saving a bad relationship you’ll be turning it into a good one.

If you’ve asked the question: “how do I save my relationship with my girlfriend” than you know how challenging it can be sometimes to make a relationship work.  The good news is that even though it is sometimes difficult, it’s not impossible and having a great relationship really is one of the best things in life and well worth the effort.

The first thing you have to honestly evaluate is whether or not the relationship is really something that should be saved.  This is so hard to do because no one wants to admit that maybe the person they love isn’t the right person for them.  It happens all the time that people stay in a relationship with someone who just isn’t a good fit, and they are miserable.  So before you try to save your relationship  honestly evaluate whether or not it is worth saving.

If, after honest reflection, you come to the conclusion that your relationship is something that was mostly good and is worth saving, the next thing you need to figure out is whether or not your girlfriend thinks that it is something that should be saved too.  You can’t do it all by yourself and you can’t ‘force’ your girlfriend to want to work on your relationship.  If she doesn’t think it’s worth saving and isn’t willing to try then it’s time for you to bow out gracefully and move on, no matter how tough that may be.

If both of you feel that the relationship has merit in spite of your problems the next thing you need to do is have an open discussion of what those problems are.  This is where many couples will stumble because this is the point where each partner has to own up to their own B.S.

It’s always easier to point out the flaws of your partner than to face your own, but if you really want to make your relationship work you’ll need to stop focusing on the things your partner does wrong and start owning up to your own mistakes…you both need to do this.   Most relationships fall apart because people don’t communicate effectively.  They allow small aggravations to grow and grow and finally they will reach a breaking point, and then they  snap.

Your partner will feel totally blindsided when this happens,  which will lead to hurt  and then anger and they’ll lash out back  at you.  This cycle happens over and over again.  In order for your relationship to work you both have to understand this and find a way to change it.

You both need to learn to communicate how you’re feeling in a non-accusatory way and you also need to learn to not get defensive when your partner tries to explain where they are coming from.  This is all about maturity and self confidence since it takes a lot of both to be able to listen to criticisms and not just fly off the handle and get defensive.

The next time you ask the question: “How do I save my relationship with my girlfriend” here is the answer.  Follow these tips and just remember that it will take both of you working together to make it happen.

If you’ve ever found yourself wondering: “how do I save my unhealthy relationship” the first question you really need to be asking yourself is if you should save it.  No matter what type of relationship it is, family, friend, or lover, all relationships will have normal ups and downs.  If it seems like you have far more bad times than good, and it’s an important relationship worth saving,  than it’s time to see what can be done to make things better.

The first thing you have to remember is that you can’t fix a bad relationship all on your own, if your partner isn’t interested in trying than the relationship is already over, even though you haven’t realized it yet.

If, on the other hand, your partner seems just as willing as you are to try to figure out what the problems are, even if it means they have to make some changes too, and work on fixing them then here are some tips that may help:

1.  Communication.  I know you’ve probably heard this before but it is the number 1 way to fix a relationship, or tear a relationship apart when one or both of the partners lack good communication skills. This isn’t just about talking, it’s also about listening. It’s about the way you say things  and not just what you say.

For example, let’s say that a guy tends to go out with his buddies a lot and his girlfriend feels neglected and unloved.  If she wants to talk to her boyfriend about it, which do you think will get a better response: yelling at him and calling him names then bursting into tears and give him the silent treatment for a week, or set a time when neither of you is overly tired or in a hurry and calmly tell him how you feel, no yelling, name calling or accusations.  Just a mature conversation between two adults.  Which approach do you think might make the most impact?

Of course, the response you get when you use the proper approach will tell you volumes about where your guy is coming from.  If you calmly tell him that you’d like to spend more time with him and ask him to not spend quite as much time with his friends and he shuts you down or makes no attempt to change than he’s given you his answer: he just doesn’t care that much about you or your relationship. If this is the case, it’s time to move on.  Kick him to the curb and move on.

2. Once the two of you have committed to try to talk to each other, and listen to each other, in a more healthy, productive way the next thing you need to do is try to find some common ground. What types of things did the two of you do when you first met, and why aren’t you still doing them together?  Can you start doing some of those old activities again?  If not, why not try to find some new things that you can both really enjoy and that will allow the two of you more quality time together?

People say all the time that relationships are hard, I personally don’t believe that.  I think if you’re with the right person for you and you’re not trying to pretend that the person you’re with is right for you just because you are too afraid to find someone else, than the relationship is actually pretty easy and doesn’t have too many bumps in the road.

When it comes to your relationships, stop trying to fit a round peg in a square hole, instead take the time to find someone that you are truly compatible with and your relationship will bring both of you a lot of joy.  If you follow this approach you’ll never have to ask: “how do I save my unhealthy relationship” again.  You’re relationship will be wonderful and you’ll both be happy.

If you’re wondering when to end a relationship, then you’re faced with a hard decision. After you’ve invested time with another person, it’s never easy to say goodbye. This is true if you’ve been together 3 months, 3 years, or more. But sometimes learning when to end your relationship is the best thing you can do for both of you.

If you really love the person you’re with, you might wonder when to end a relationship and why. You might think that just because you love him or her, you should stay and work things out. And very often it is worth a try.

Many people give up on their relationships before they’ve really tried to fix them. Because it’s difficult, they throw in the towel instead of working on their problems. This is unfortunate, because many people could probably be happy together if only they weren’t afraid to try.

And other people have problem after problem and keeping working hard when most people think they should just give up. It’s as if these people are gluttons for punishment. Their partner keeps cheating on them and they keep taking him back. Or their partner keeps making other mistakes and letting them down.

It seems they don’t know when to end a relationship. But usually it’s that they’re simply afraid of being alone and moving on.

There are obvious situations that should tell you when to end a relationship. If your partner is abusive, it’s time to get out, no excuses. If you don’t feel safe, even down to feeling like you’ll have something to eat and be secure, then you should move on.

Other things are less sure. If your partner has cheated, for instance, does that always mean it’s time to leave? Some people can get past one mistake like that. They sometimes end up with a stronger relationship after the affair.

But more often they really never get past the betrayal. Even if it never happens again, the one who was cheated on can’t let go of the hurt. And the one who cheated will eventually get tired of the suspicion and guilt.

If there has been cheating in your relationship, it’s not easy to decide if it should end. You should really talk about everything involved. From trust to fear of it happening again, it should all be put on the table in an honest discussion.

How about if you feel like cheating? If you have a really strong desire to be with someone else, should you end it? These types of feelings are natural. You can even have fantasies about other people. But if you’re constantly thinking that you’d be better of with someone else, maybe you really would be.

If you love your partner and you’ve tried different ways of working it out, step back. How have you really tried?  For how long? When to end a relationship isn’t always easy to see, but if you know you’ve done everything and it’s still not working, it may be time to go.

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If there were a magic secret to relationships, someone would have already bottled it and made millions of dollars. But there are several ways to make your relationship strong and give it the best chance of lasting a lifetime. Most of them are common sense and some are just reminders of when the relationship was new. None of them are really a secret.

•    Love. It’s not enough to love your partner, but you have to show them that you love them often. You should never be in a relationship if you don’t feel genuine love for someone, and feel comfortable expressing it.

•    Respect. If you don’t respect the person you’re with, there’s little hope for the relationship. If you laugh at your partner, feel he or she is often a joke, dumb or worthy of some kind of scorn, then what’s the point?

•    Kindness. Treat your partner with kindness always. A secret to relationships is to be as courteous when you’re alone and not feeling thrilled at that moment as you would with a stranger on the street.

•    Thoughtfulness. Put your partner’s needs and desires at the top of your list. Little gestures are often some of the most powerful.

•    Honesty. Lies can ruin a relationship quickly, even if they’re lies about nothing important. Don’t do anything deceptive and you’ll never have to lie in the first place.

All of those are important to a relationship and may be called the “secret to relationships.” But you really need all of them for a good relationship, and they’re things everyone already knows. The hard part can be figuring out how to express some of them.

Honest is pretty easy to show. Simply be open and honest during conversations. Don’t be afraid to let your partner see your true self, especially when you feel scared, sad, lonely or vulnerable.

Showing respect and showing kindness can go hand in hand. By treating your partner with respect, you show that you support them. You’ll back them up in their ideas and actions because you respect and believe in them.

Even when you don’t necessarily feel they’re doing the right thing, you can respect their decision and be kind in your words about it. Disagreeing pleasantly is a so-called secret to relationships.

Thoughtfulness and love can be expressed hand in hand, too. Telling your partner that you love him is one way to express love. But maybe he feels more loved when you reach out and rub his shoulders for a minute as you pass. Or you balance the checkbook so he doesn’t have to do it.

People perceive love differently. If you can find what your partner perceives as the most loving thing and do that, you’re expressing your love perfectly for that person. And you’re being thoughtful, too. You’re thinking of that person and trying to make them happy.

If you combine these things and apply them, then you’ve found the secret to relationships that can make your partnership a happy one.