After a breakup more often than not the only thing on your mind is what went wrong and trying to figure out how to get your ex back.  These thoughts can consume you if you let them. They can run around and around in your head and drive you practically crazy, but you don’t have to let that happen. There are some things  that you can start doing that might just convince your ex that getting back together is a great idea.

A very common mistake people make is to try sneaky, childish things to get their ex back, like trying to make their ex jealous.  Unless you’re in 5th grade, you should skip the games and be a grown up.  Be honest and sincere and that way no matter what happens you will have your dignity intact.  Honesty is the best policy when trying to get your ex back.

One of the best things to do in the early days of a breakup is to give your ex space.  If you come off as desperate you will just make your ex mad.  You will also be sending them a clear signal that you will be waiting for them to do whatever they want to do.  If your ex hasn’t completely made up their mind, if they really do want the breakup to be permanent, you will give them a great excuse for finding out; definitely not the way to get your ex back.

As long as they know that you are waiting in the wings, they can go out and date or do whatever they want knowing that if it doesn’t work out you’re still in the background.  They may not do that to be mean, it’s just human nature.

After a little time has gone by, contact your ex and tell them that you still care and you would like to see if the two of you can make things work out.  At this point they will either say yes, they’d like to try again, or no, not interested.

If they say no you have to be willing to walk away.  There is always a chance that they might still change their mind but if you act like a freak, you could scare them off forever.

If, on the other hand, they want to meet make sure that  you are clear headed and calm.  The last thing you want to do at this point it to get mad and start fighting.  If you do, you’ll just convince your ex that breaking up was the smart thing to do and it’s very unlikely you’ll ever get back together.

Just keep these things in mind if you want to know how to get your ex back.  Every relationship is different but these are good general rules to follow.

How to get your ex back and move forward is a difficult thing to figure out when someone has been hurt. Most likely it was both of you who were hurt and both of you who did the hurting. Forgiveness is essential to any relationship being mended and has to happen if you want to know how to win your ex back.

Learning how to get your ex back is going to involve learning humility on both sides. Being selfish is what got your relationship in trouble at the beginning. You decided that the individual was more important than what you two had as a couple.

People make mistakes. It is true that some mistakes are too big to overcome but most mistakes that people make in relationships are trivial. They are also made in the heat of the moment and often times can be exaggerated. Realize that it is easy for someone to say or do the wrong thing when they aren’t thinking clearly.

If you have had the wrong thing said or done to you, think of the context. What was going on around that time that made things as bad as what it got? Was there something going on in one of your lives outside of the relationship that brought unnecessary strain? If you can recognize what it was you have a chance to learn how to get your ex back.

If you had your pride and feelings hurt by the actions of another, can you forgive them? Can you suck back in your pride and realize that it was a mistake and what you had was greater than the incidents that drove you apart? Can you be willing to forgive it and let it go? You will have to learn how to do this if you want to know how to get your ex back.

If you hurt someone dear to you, you need to suck back in your pride as well. Realize that you made a mistake. Own it and take responsibility for your actions. If it is important to you to know how to get back your ex then you have to realize that there are things that you are going to have to correct in the way that you handle situations. If there is some problem or mistake that you keep making, get counseling or some kind of help. Don’t expect that you can continue to do the same thing over and over and expect different results.

Be able to approach each other with humility, not holding yourself up over the other person. Stop thinking that you are too big to come back and say, “I’m sorry.” When someone says to you that they are sorry don’t hold it over them and say, “Yeah, you should be.” Decide that what you have as a couple is more important than the problems that came and decide to work together as a team to overcome them. If you do this then you have found how to get your ex back.

Want more from “T-Dub”?  Check out The Magic of Making Up