If you’ve asked the question: “how do I save my relationship with my girlfriend” than you know how challenging it can be sometimes to make a relationship work.  The good news is that even though it is sometimes difficult, it’s not impossible and having a great relationship really is one of the best things in life and well worth the effort.

The first thing you have to honestly evaluate is whether or not the relationship is really something that should be saved.  This is so hard to do because no one wants to admit that maybe the person they love isn’t the right person for them.  It happens all the time that people stay in a relationship with someone who just isn’t a good fit, and they are miserable.  So before you try to save your relationship  honestly evaluate whether or not it is worth saving.

If, after honest reflection, you come to the conclusion that your relationship is something that was mostly good and is worth saving, the next thing you need to figure out is whether or not your girlfriend thinks that it is something that should be saved too.  You can’t do it all by yourself and you can’t ‘force’ your girlfriend to want to work on your relationship.  If she doesn’t think it’s worth saving and isn’t willing to try then it’s time for you to bow out gracefully and move on, no matter how tough that may be.

If both of you feel that the relationship has merit in spite of your problems the next thing you need to do is have an open discussion of what those problems are.  This is where many couples will stumble because this is the point where each partner has to own up to their own B.S.

It’s always easier to point out the flaws of your partner than to face your own, but if you really want to make your relationship work you’ll need to stop focusing on the things your partner does wrong and start owning up to your own mistakes…you both need to do this.   Most relationships fall apart because people don’t communicate effectively.  They allow small aggravations to grow and grow and finally they will reach a breaking point, and then they  snap.

Your partner will feel totally blindsided when this happens,  which will lead to hurt  and then anger and they’ll lash out back  at you.  This cycle happens over and over again.  In order for your relationship to work you both have to understand this and find a way to change it.

You both need to learn to communicate how you’re feeling in a non-accusatory way and you also need to learn to not get defensive when your partner tries to explain where they are coming from.  This is all about maturity and self confidence since it takes a lot of both to be able to listen to criticisms and not just fly off the handle and get defensive.

The next time you ask the question: “How do I save my relationship with my girlfriend” here is the answer.  Follow these tips and just remember that it will take both of you working together to make it happen.

If you’ve ever found yourself wondering: “how do I save my unhealthy relationship” the first question you really need to be asking yourself is if you should save it.  No matter what type of relationship it is, family, friend, or lover, all relationships will have normal ups and downs.  If it seems like you have far more bad times than good, and it’s an important relationship worth saving,  than it’s time to see what can be done to make things better.

The first thing you have to remember is that you can’t fix a bad relationship all on your own, if your partner isn’t interested in trying than the relationship is already over, even though you haven’t realized it yet.

If, on the other hand, your partner seems just as willing as you are to try to figure out what the problems are, even if it means they have to make some changes too, and work on fixing them then here are some tips that may help:

1.  Communication.  I know you’ve probably heard this before but it is the number 1 way to fix a relationship, or tear a relationship apart when one or both of the partners lack good communication skills. This isn’t just about talking, it’s also about listening. It’s about the way you say things  and not just what you say.

For example, let’s say that a guy tends to go out with his buddies a lot and his girlfriend feels neglected and unloved.  If she wants to talk to her boyfriend about it, which do you think will get a better response: yelling at him and calling him names then bursting into tears and give him the silent treatment for a week, or set a time when neither of you is overly tired or in a hurry and calmly tell him how you feel, no yelling, name calling or accusations.  Just a mature conversation between two adults.  Which approach do you think might make the most impact?

Of course, the response you get when you use the proper approach will tell you volumes about where your guy is coming from.  If you calmly tell him that you’d like to spend more time with him and ask him to not spend quite as much time with his friends and he shuts you down or makes no attempt to change than he’s given you his answer: he just doesn’t care that much about you or your relationship. If this is the case, it’s time to move on.  Kick him to the curb and move on.

2. Once the two of you have committed to try to talk to each other, and listen to each other, in a more healthy, productive way the next thing you need to do is try to find some common ground. What types of things did the two of you do when you first met, and why aren’t you still doing them together?  Can you start doing some of those old activities again?  If not, why not try to find some new things that you can both really enjoy and that will allow the two of you more quality time together?

People say all the time that relationships are hard, I personally don’t believe that.  I think if you’re with the right person for you and you’re not trying to pretend that the person you’re with is right for you just because you are too afraid to find someone else, than the relationship is actually pretty easy and doesn’t have too many bumps in the road.

When it comes to your relationships, stop trying to fit a round peg in a square hole, instead take the time to find someone that you are truly compatible with and your relationship will bring both of you a lot of joy.  If you follow this approach you’ll never have to ask: “how do I save my unhealthy relationship” again.  You’re relationship will be wonderful and you’ll both be happy.

You might think it’s too bad you can’t take a class called relationships 101 in college. They offer math, physics, literature and tons of classes, but a class on relationships is something that could help everyone. Fortunately, you have the skills already to save your relationship and make it better without needed a relationships 101 course.

Most relationships, no matter what happens, can be saved. There are a few relationships that shouldn’t be saved, like those that are abusive or really miserable. But most others have the potential to be fixed. That should be lesson number in any relationships 101 class.

The problem is, people give up too soon. They’re angry, hurt, upset and it just seems easiest to get out of the situation that made them that way. It’s all too easy to focus only on what’s happening now, and not the past.

If the relationship was good at one point, and most were or no one would have stayed in it very long, then it really can be that way again. But people have to look past the anger and the problems that are happening now, and remember those good times. That’s the only way they’ll even want to try to use relationships 101 theory to save the couple.

To cause further problems, often one person is ready to work hard at saving the relationship. But the other person won’t look past the bad to remember the good. That person is ready to chuck it all away. And can only person save a relationship?

Sometimes one person can do it, but it’s not easy. It’s hard to stay positive and hopeful when your boyfriend of girlfriend doesn’t act or feel the same. It can start to feel like you’re fighting a losing battle.

Relationships 101 lesson #2: Keep fighting the battle, because even if the relationship doesn’t heal, it will make you a better person. That’s because the things you’ll do to try to save the relationship are simply good for you, and good for the other person, too.

It’s very important to remember the way you behaved with the relationship was new and going strong. Compare that to how you behave with that person now. And turn things around by acting the way you used to, and doing the things you used to.

Strive to be polite again just as you were in the beginning. Be thoughtful and be a good friend to the person whenever you can, even if you’re not going to get anything out of it. Don’t beg them to come back, tell them they need to come back, or threaten what will happen if they don’t come back.

When faced with someone acting like that, would you want to be with that person again?  Tell yourself that you’ll survive no matter what happens, but do your very best to show them the person they want to be with again. Best the best “you” no matter what is the best relationships 101 lesson there is.

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If you are trying to get your girlfriend back, but you were a jerk to her, you may not deserve her. That may not be what you want to hear but it may very well be the truth. It is good that you recognize that you may have had a problem but what are you going to do about it and why should she want you back? Until you figure those things out you may not get your girlfriend back.

Here’s what you need to do to get your girlfriend back:
1)    Change the way you look at women. If you consider them property then you do not deserve a chance. View them as people deserving of respect and do your best to give it to them and you might have a chance. To love women you need to respect women.

2)    Change the way you treat women. Chivalry is not dead. Be a gentleman and treat them as queens. If you can pull this off your chances improve. Be subtle about it and try not to draw attention. You don’t want to look like you are faking it. They will notice. Women are smart like that and if she doesn’t notice she will have a friend notice and tell her. Your credibility may be shot.

3)    Learn humility. This will go a long way towards helping you get woman back.

4)    Let her know that you were a jerk. If she tells you that you were, just agree with her. If she exaggerates, or it seems like she is, remember that to her she isn’t. The only person’s opinion that matters is hers if your goal is to get woman back. You’re selling and you’re trying to get her to buy. The customer is always right.

5)    Find out if she wants some space or if she wants you to come begging and then give her what she wants. This will be a tough thing to do. You may have to ask around to people who know her well.  She may even think that your efforts to try out are worth giving you a second thought.

6)    Try and convince her friends that you are changed. You will have to do this first. They will be skeptical of you and will be most interested in protecting their friend that you hurt. If you can win her friends then you have won the major part of the battle. If you try and get ex back first, you will have trouble convincing her and even if you do, they may talk her out of it. Do you want her trusted friends for you or against you?

7)    Don’t tell her that you have changed, show her. Words are great but it doesn’t mean anything unless there is some action to back it up. You need more than words.

8)    Think about the long term and if you are going to be able to make this change permanent. If you can’t then you are going to end up in the same place you are now but only with a smaller chance to get your girlfriend back.

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Do you find yourself saying “I want my ex back”?  Do you feel like something is missing because he’s not around?  Do you feel lonely as a single person.  Well, this article is for all you gals who say I want my ex back.

First of all, do not, whatever else you do, chase him.  Men are supposed to be the hunters.  When you chase him, it actually makes you a lot less attractive.  You need to seduce him with your feminine wiles which have nothing to do with the chase.

In fact, he needs to chase you.  That’s what men do.  Men hunt, women choose.  When you get this through your head, you will begin to understand how to get him back.

So, start by analyzing what brought you together in the first place.  What was it that he saw in you that was so appealing?  Do a harsh assessment of yourself.  Have you gained a few pounds, done something stupid with your hair, or changed the way you dress?  All of these things could have an impact on how he sees you.

When you say I want my ex back, you are bringing another person into your life.  When he asked you out, you were a single person.  But as you started dating, you became a couple.  In the process, you probably gave up some hobbies, friends, or activities.  In short, you changed.  You stopped being the girl he initially dated.  He may have become bored with the new you – the you that you changed into for him.  One way to get him back may be just to take up the old you so that you are appealing again.  And then, don’t change this time.

Another thing that could have happened was that he really liked you without knowing you.  You were mysterious.  But, as you became a couple, he found out things about you that he didn’t like.  Perhaps he found out that you swear, and that goes against what he thinks is appropriate for his girlfriend.  Think about the things that he harped on you about.  If you are really saying I want my ex back, consider making the changes he asked for.

Once you have all of the pieces in place – you are the girl he really wants – then you have to seduce him.  But doing this is counterintuitive.

Remember – he likes the chase.  So, give him one!  Go somewhere that he often goes and barely acknowledge him, but flirt outrageously with all of the other guys.  If some guy makes a move, be sure to get cozy.  Your ex boyfriend may confront you – or the guy – about this.  Remind him that you are no longer his girlfriend and he doesn’t have a say.  You can even start dating one of his friends so that he will want to chase you down.

Once the hunter gets his juices riled, he will want to come after you.  At that point, it is up to you to keep him interested by being the girlfriend he really wants.  That way you won’t be saying “I want my ex back” again!

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