If there were a magic secret to relationships, someone would have already bottled it and made millions of dollars. But there are several ways to make your relationship strong and give it the best chance of lasting a lifetime. Most of them are common sense and some are just reminders of when the relationship was new. None of them are really a secret.

•    Love. It’s not enough to love your partner, but you have to show them that you love them often. You should never be in a relationship if you don’t feel genuine love for someone, and feel comfortable expressing it.

•    Respect. If you don’t respect the person you’re with, there’s little hope for the relationship. If you laugh at your partner, feel he or she is often a joke, dumb or worthy of some kind of scorn, then what’s the point?

•    Kindness. Treat your partner with kindness always. A secret to relationships is to be as courteous when you’re alone and not feeling thrilled at that moment as you would with a stranger on the street.

•    Thoughtfulness. Put your partner’s needs and desires at the top of your list. Little gestures are often some of the most powerful.

•    Honesty. Lies can ruin a relationship quickly, even if they’re lies about nothing important. Don’t do anything deceptive and you’ll never have to lie in the first place.

All of those are important to a relationship and may be called the “secret to relationships.” But you really need all of them for a good relationship, and they’re things everyone already knows. The hard part can be figuring out how to express some of them.

Honest is pretty easy to show. Simply be open and honest during conversations. Don’t be afraid to let your partner see your true self, especially when you feel scared, sad, lonely or vulnerable.

Showing respect and showing kindness can go hand in hand. By treating your partner with respect, you show that you support them. You’ll back them up in their ideas and actions because you respect and believe in them.

Even when you don’t necessarily feel they’re doing the right thing, you can respect their decision and be kind in your words about it. Disagreeing pleasantly is a so-called secret to relationships.

Thoughtfulness and love can be expressed hand in hand, too. Telling your partner that you love him is one way to express love. But maybe he feels more loved when you reach out and rub his shoulders for a minute as you pass. Or you balance the checkbook so he doesn’t have to do it.

People perceive love differently. If you can find what your partner perceives as the most loving thing and do that, you’re expressing your love perfectly for that person. And you’re being thoughtful, too. You’re thinking of that person and trying to make them happy.

If you combine these things and apply them, then you’ve found the secret to relationships that can make your partnership a happy one.

The best spouse relationships are based on love and respect. That goes without saying, doesn’t it? Everyone probably realizes that love and respect are crucial to having a good marriage. But beyond love and respect there are a few things that can help spouse relationships.

Think back to when you were first married. If you’re newly married, think back to when you first met and were dating. How did you treat your partner?  You probably treated your partner with respect, but also with kindness and thoughtfulness.

Unfortunately, it’s common that the longer we know someone, the less kind we tend to be toward them. One would think that the opposite holds true. But we start to take the other person for granted and think they’ll always be there, no matter what.

Think of the last time you went to the bank or grocery store and spoke to the cashier. Maybe you exchanged words with a stranger. How was the tone of your voice and your words? You probably sounded like the sweetest person on the planet. That person might have thought “how polite” when you walked away.

Now think to the words and the tone of the voice you use with your spouse sometimes. When you get angry or you’re unhappy about something, think about how you sound. Would you ever speak that way to a stranger?  If you’re thinking “probably not” then you’ve started taking advantage of your spouse.

People do it with close friends, parents and children, too. If we could record people’s conversations and play them back at a different time, people might be ashamed of how they sounded. And they probably wouldn’t speak that way to someone they didn’t know well for fear of hurting their feelings!

Good spouse relationships are kind ones. Everyone gets angry now and then. And yes, everyone says things he or she regrets in an angry and even hateful tone of voice. But you can keep these instances to a minimum by just thinking about whether you’d talk to your postman or your boss that way.

Thoughtfulness is also an important factor in good spouse relationships. People love their spouses, but it seems the longer they’re together, they less they sometimes show it. Your spouse is one person you should make a point of being thoughtful toward, too.

In the beginning when you’re first dating someone or first married, you might send (or receive) flowers, cards and little surprises. Generally after people are married for a while, these sorts of things slow down or stop. Remembering to be thoughtful and surprise your spouse can help makes yours one of the better spouse relationships.

Try to keep in mind that marriage isn’t written in stone. There really are other opportunities out there for your spouse. Bring back some of the things you did and said when you were trying to win this person. Be kind and thoughtful as much as you can. Those combined with love and respect will make yours one of the enduring spouse relationships.

Are you worried the romance is fading from your marriage and looking for a ways to get it back? Rest assured there are plenty of little things you can do strike up that spark again. No matter how deeply you’re in love, romance tips can go a long way towards keeping “that lovin’ feelin’” alive for decades to come.

Schedule a date night

Heard this advice before, haven’t you? Sure, it’d be great to go out to a fancy restaurant once a week, but there’s a budget to keep and kids to watch. Who has the money or the time? Well, you probably do if you use a little imagination. Are you on a tight budget? Stay in and make a gourmet meal together. Can’t find a sitter? Try swapping kids with other parents—you watch theirs on Friday night and they watch yours on Saturday night.

Spice up your lovemaking

Even when you’re truly in love, romance tips for the bedroom tend to fall by the wayside when you’re trying to deal with everything else that goes on in life. If you feel the passion’s faded a little, put some real effort into reviving it. Take some time to actually talk about your turn-ons and desires. Sometimes just a book on love-making ideas can be enough to get your motors running again and the sparks flying in the bedroom.

Audit your behavior

For some reason, it seems the more familiar we become with someone, no matter how much we love that someone, we tend to forget our manners around them. We end up criticizing, nagging, and taking them for granted. It’s not comfortable to admit, but most of us develop a few bad habits overtime. That’s why it can help to take a cold, hard look at how you treat your spouse and work on less-than-loving behavior that might be killing the romance.

Have real conversations

Find you have nothing to say over dinner other than “How’s the roast?” or worse, can’t think of anything to say at all? If so, make talking to each other again a top priority PDQ. Remember, for those in love, romance tips that are effective don’t always focus on the roses and candlelight part. The foundation of romance is emotional intimacy and you’ll only reach that point through frequent, open conversations about the things that really matter.

Give more

Both common sense and sociological studies hold that the more each partner invests in the marriage, the more they generally get out of it. When one partner freely expresses their love, it sets off a cycle of giving and giving-back between you that’s hard to hold back.

The nice thing is that it only takes one partner to kick off the cycle.  You just want to make sure you don’t get stuck in the position where you’re being taken advantage of or feel resentment if you don’t get as much in return.

If you’re starting to feel like the average potato soup has more romance in it than your marriage does right now, it’s time to do something about it. A dull spell can lead to serious marital problems all too quickly. So, if you want to keep your love alive and flourishing, romance tips like the ones above are a good place to start, just start – your love and your relationship are worth it.