If you’ve asked the question: “how do I save my relationship with my girlfriend” than you know how challenging it can be sometimes to make a relationship work.  The good news is that even though it is sometimes difficult, it’s not impossible and having a great relationship really is one of the best things in life and well worth the effort.

The first thing you have to honestly evaluate is whether or not the relationship is really something that should be saved.  This is so hard to do because no one wants to admit that maybe the person they love isn’t the right person for them.  It happens all the time that people stay in a relationship with someone who just isn’t a good fit, and they are miserable.  So before you try to save your relationship  honestly evaluate whether or not it is worth saving.

If, after honest reflection, you come to the conclusion that your relationship is something that was mostly good and is worth saving, the next thing you need to figure out is whether or not your girlfriend thinks that it is something that should be saved too.  You can’t do it all by yourself and you can’t ‘force’ your girlfriend to want to work on your relationship.  If she doesn’t think it’s worth saving and isn’t willing to try then it’s time for you to bow out gracefully and move on, no matter how tough that may be.

If both of you feel that the relationship has merit in spite of your problems the next thing you need to do is have an open discussion of what those problems are.  This is where many couples will stumble because this is the point where each partner has to own up to their own B.S.

It’s always easier to point out the flaws of your partner than to face your own, but if you really want to make your relationship work you’ll need to stop focusing on the things your partner does wrong and start owning up to your own mistakes…you both need to do this.   Most relationships fall apart because people don’t communicate effectively.  They allow small aggravations to grow and grow and finally they will reach a breaking point, and then they  snap.

Your partner will feel totally blindsided when this happens,  which will lead to hurt  and then anger and they’ll lash out back  at you.  This cycle happens over and over again.  In order for your relationship to work you both have to understand this and find a way to change it.

You both need to learn to communicate how you’re feeling in a non-accusatory way and you also need to learn to not get defensive when your partner tries to explain where they are coming from.  This is all about maturity and self confidence since it takes a lot of both to be able to listen to criticisms and not just fly off the handle and get defensive.

The next time you ask the question: “How do I save my relationship with my girlfriend” here is the answer.  Follow these tips and just remember that it will take both of you working together to make it happen.

If you are in an  unhappy relationship and you’ve really tried to work things out, with no luck, than it’s time to face the sad fact that even though the two of you are still together, your relationship is over.  Now comes the hard part…the leaving.  Here are some tips that may help you find the strength to sever those ties to a bad relationship so that both of you can move on and find happiness again.

1.  The first thing you will need to do is make sure that you’re not running away from the problem.  If the relationship is an important one like a long romance, friendship, or a marriage, than you have to be honest with yourself as to whether or not you’ve really tried to deal with the issues.  Of course, if your partner is unwilling to try to work on the relationship at all then there’s nothing you can do on your own and it’s time to leave.

Once you’ve thought it out and have come to the conclusion that it’s just time to be done, then you have to find the conviction to finish it.  This isn’t the time to waffle back and froth.  It will just make the whole process much more difficult and painful.  Once you’ve made that decision and really thought it all out carefully, don’t back down because you get scared.  Leave.

2.  When it comes time to let your partner know that it’s over, and that you’re leaving, you have some options.  Of course we’ve all heard the stories of the tacky person who just sent a text message or an email.  While it’s usually best to break up in person, if your partner might get violent than by all means send them a text.  It’s important that you are as decent about the breakup as possible but that doesn’t mean you have to potentially put yourself at risk.

3.  Make sure that when you breakup you make it perfectly clear that you’ve thought it through and that you’re convinced this is the right thing to do.  It’s very likely that your partner will try to talk you out of your decision or even try to make you feel guilty.  You can’t give in to that pressure, for both of your sakes.  You have the right to decide whether or not the relationship is what you want and you have the right to end it whenever you want to.

Make it clear that you don’t want any contact with your ex and you don’t want them to try to call you.  Don’t be wishy-washy and make it sound like you’re just ‘taking a break’  when you know full well that it’s over.  That’s a cowards way out, it makes it easier to get away from a difficult situation but it’s not fair to the other person.  If you know that the breakup will be permanent don’t try to sugar coat it by giving your partner false hope of a reconciliation.

If you’re in an  unhappy relationship and you’ve tried everything to make things better but the fact is that you and your partner just aren’t that compatible than it’s time for you to leave.  Use these tips to make the breakup as easy as possible, for both of you.  Good luck.