Save Your Relationship

Today we are faced with so many things coming at us from so many directions it may be tough to save your relationship. With all these stresses in life it’s tough to keep our relationships strong, and if you want to save your relationship, just finding the time to work on it can be a challenge. This article will give you advice on love to save your relationship, it’s aimed at all the overly stressed busy people who still want to make their relationships work.

Here are 3 things you can start doing today to keep your relationship strong, or pull it back from the brink. It’s not so much about how much time you spend together, it’s more about the quality of time that the two of you spend together.  Keep that in mind when going over the list:

1. Figure out what activities that the two of you like to do as a couple. It doesn’t matter if it’s round of golf or a trip to the local movie theater. As long as you can share an experience that is enjoyable, for both of you. When it’s your time, make arrangements for the kids to spend the night at grandma’s, turn off the cell phones and Blackberries, take the phone off the hook, and turn off the t.v. This is about connecting with each other, not just co-existing in the same place at the same time.

This is so important for two reasons.  One, it will allow you time to relax and unwind from the stresses of life.  That will help each of you individually and also will allow both of you to bring more to the relationship since you’ll be more relaxed and at ease.  And two, it gives the two of you precious memories that you can relive from time to time with each other.  It’s fun to have shared experiences where you can say ‘remember when we did…’?  That creates a deeper bond between the two of you.

2. So many couples only talk about mundane daily things like asking your spouse if they had a good day,  or if they picked up milk on the way home.  Try to make time each week to really talk.  Don’t turn it into a complaining time, just talk.  Tell your partner about your dreams, relive some fun past times, etc.  Make it a positive time.  Really be willing to talk, and listen, and let each other into your minds a little bit. 

3.  Try to always remind yourself what it was that first attracted you to your partner.  Was it their laugh, their offbeat sense of humor, their goofy expressions? Whatever it was don’t let yourself forget that.  And while you’re reminding yourself, make sure to let them know too.  If you fell in love with their laugh, tell them, often, that you love the way they laugh.  So much of that positive reinforcement seems to go out the window the longer the relationship goes on.  And that’s a shame.  Everyone wants to feel loved and appreciated, don’t ever let your partner feel like you don’t find that thing you fell in love with attractive anymore.

A loving relationship is one of the best things you can do for yourself.  Many people will tell you that relationships are ‘hard’ and that they ‘take a lot of work’.  I don’t agree.  I believe that if you are with the right person, if you’re both mature adults who really want to make the relationship work, and if you know what to look out for, your relationship can be very easy.  Just use this advice on love to save your relationship as a starting point.

Stop A Relationship Break Up

If your relationship is teetering on the brink and you want to pull it back to safety there are some things you can do.  It may not be easy, and both of you have to be willing to work together, but it is possible to stop a relationship break up.

Here are some tactics you can keep in mind when trying to stop a relationship break up:

1.  Stop only dwelling on what your partner is doing wrong and start trying to find common ground.  It is way too easy to get caught up in the ‘he said, she said’.  As long as the two of you are on that particular gerbil wheel you’ll never be able to calmly discuss the real issues in your relationship.  It’s time to put away the blame and work together to find solutions.

2.  Try to put yourself in their shoes and try to genuinely understand where they are coming from. This isn’t necessarily the same as agreeing with them, but you acknowledge that they have the right to feel the way they feel.  There is nothing more important to everyone than to feel they are understood and while neither of you is going to totally get the other one all the time, you need to at least try to see things from their point of view.

If you learn to see something through someone else’s eyes, you will be less likely to get defensive and angry and more likely to see that the two of you really aren’t as far apart as you may have thought.

3.  Retrain yourself on ways to communicate with your partner.  It’s very easy to fall into certain patterns of behavior without realizing you are doing it, it then becomes one vicious circle.  You have to take a step back, both of you, and try to look at the situation more objectively.  Then once you’ve honestly evaluated the problems, work together to find solutions.

It’s never too late to try and stop a relationship break up as long as both of you truly want to make things work and are willing to make some changes.  I know you hear it all the time, and that’s because it’s true, communication is the key to any good relationship and that is the place you have to start.  Learn to talk and listen instead of scream and fight, it may be the best way to stop a relationship break up.

For most people, it’s pretty easy to find love.  The challenge often seems to be to be able to make it last.  Keeping your love for each other strong is not impossible.  You just have to understand why it falls apart and make sure you, and your partner, avoid those traps.  That’s where love relationship advice comes in handy.

With the advent of online dating sites there are more ways than ever to meet ‘the one’.  It’s a much better method than cruising the bar scene looking for someone special.  For most couples the first few months is pretty easy.  You are falling in love and you think the other person is perfect.  You can see no wrong in them or what they do.  And maybe there isn’t anything wrong with the way they, or you, act in the early stages of a relationship.

They say that familiarity breeds contempt and if that’s true it would go a long way to explaining why the longer a relationship goes on the more it tends to break down.

Here is a list of some of the things you, and your partner, need to be on the lookout for in your relationship.  These are common traps that many couples fall into without realizing it.  If you know what to watch out for and can avoid these mistakes you will have a much better chance of keeping your relationship strong and healthy for a long time:

1. Unrealistic expectations.  As I said above we think our new love can do no wrong.  As our relationship slowly changes from falling in love to being in love and all the day to day stresses and mundane tasks we must face, it’s easy to lose some of that early ‘glow’.  This can be a pivotal time in many relationships, sometimes the couple will think that they just don’t love each other anymore and break up.

In reality, in any long term relationship, you will spend a much longer time in this ‘normal’ mode than you will in the early ‘glow’ mode.  It’s important to recognize that this is all a normal progression in an adult relationship.

2. Inability to effectively communicate.  Men and women express themselves differently…that’s just the way it is.  The good news is that you can learn to communicate with your partner effectively, if you’re willing to take some time to learn how. The whole ‘it’s a guy thing’ or ‘it’s a girl thing’ is only true to a point, and is largely just a cop out.  In reality any mature, intelligent adult should be able to learn how to talk to their partner, and even more importantly, listen to their partner.  The real question is do you care enough about your partner and the relationship to take the time?

3.  Don’t confuse sex with love.  This may sound obvious but men and women tend to look at sex in different ways.  Women, for example, tend to look at sex as a way to connect with someone they love on a deeper physical level.  Yes, it’s pleasurable, but the pleasure isn’t just physical it’s emotional as well.

Men tend to look at sex as definition of who they are as a man.  For them too, it’s pleasurable but it’s also a way to prove their desirability and masculinity.  Sometimes when a relationship gets to the ‘comfortable’ stage this difference in views about sex can create problems.  If one partner doesn’t seem sexually interested in the other partner it can create severe stress on the relationship.

If your relationship gets to this point, it might help if you and your partner can remember that sex is only one small component of every thing your relationship is made up of.  While for many couples, having an active sex life is an important part of the relationship, it’s important to understand that as you age and your relationship grows, it probably won’t be  quite as important as it once was. That doesn’t mean your partner doesn’t love you or find you attractive, it’s just a fairly common way for long term relationships to go.

I hope this love relationship advice will help you hold on to the love you’ve found.  Being able to make a deep, long lasting, connection with another person really is one of life’s blessings.  Make your connection last by learning how to avoid the pitfalls of some relationships.

If you see warning signs of a break up you need to act quickly to avoid splitting up. It is a lot easier to prevent a split then to try to reconcile after the event.

So what should you be looking out for? The obvious one is if you are both always arguing. I believe it is healthy for couples to argue occasionally as making up is fun!  But when you just fight and don’t make friends, you are on dangerous ground.

Perhaps worse is when you have gone past the stage of fighting and now just ignore one another. There is nothing lonelier than sharing a double bed with someone and having enough room to drive a huge bus between you. Some of the loneliest people are those that are in a broken relationship.

Another sign you could look for is whether your partner prefers to spend time with other people. Now don’t get paranoid on me. No matter how much they love you, we all need some time out with our own friends. It is when your partner is spending more time with the other people, than with you and your family, that you need to worry.

If you see any signs of trouble, you cannot ignore them, but you need to deal with it now. Before you tackle your partner, you need to first decide what you want. Do you see a future with this person? If you do then you need to fight for your happiness; but in a very nice way. Shouting matches or physical violence are not the way forward.

If you have children arrange for a friend to mind them. Ask your other half out for the evening. If you go to a public place like a restaurant, the conversation is less likely to descend into an argument.

Don’t jump into the chat by flinging accusations or telling your spouse how let down/ignored/unhappy you feel. You will only put them on the defensive and that will lead to an argument. Instead, ask them how they are feeling. Are they happy with the current situation?  Is there anything they feel could be improved?

Listen to what they say and try to stay calm and non judgmental. It is not going to be easy and you may have to listen to some uncomfortable stuff. But you want your relationship to work out don’t you.

You may not be able to resolve your issues in one evening, however, it could be all it takes to start the process of getting your relationship back on track. There is a solution for every problem and you just need time to find yours. In the meantime, you need to reassure each other that you share a mutual bond of love and respect and that is worth fighting for.

Acknowledging the warning signs of a break up and taking action is the first step on the road to recovery. If you both want it, you can save your relationship and live happily ever after.

All couples experience rough patches from time to time; which could lead to a breakup. Frankly, if you don’t, you may find out your missing out on a really meaningful part of your relationship. It’s not a question if you are, but when you are going to hit that rough patch in your relationship. The question you need to be asking yourself right now is “Before this happens, I need to know how to prevent a long term relationship breakup from happening to us.” The following tips may well help you avoid that heartwrenching breakup.

We can all take our partners for granted sometimes. Life often gets in the way of your relationship and we are inclined to think our spouse will understand. But that is not always the case. Your significant other may wonder where he/she comes on your list of priorities. He or she may feel neglected and if someone else comes along that pays them some attention and makes them feel desired, who is to say that they won’t be tempted.

Why not surprise your partner and arrange a date night. If you have children, arrange a babysitter. If money is a little tight, then put the kids to bed early and cook your partner a nice dinner. Add some candles and flowers and switch off the TV. Ban all talk about the kids, job, your money issues and of course talking about family members (or suffer the consequences).

The only conversation allowed is the type you would normally have on a date night. Imagine you don’t know each other. Ask your other half to tell you something about themselves, after which you will divulge a secret about yourself. Talk to your partner about their interest, passion and most of all listen to what they say.

When you have been together for a long time, it can get a little dull in the bedroom department. Being intimate is the glue that holds couples together. It isn’t all together about having sex (a man would ask “It isn’t?”), but holding hands, listening, talking, cuddling, affectionate, being there when needed and perhaps most all trusting one another.

If you have fallen into a rut where the only intimate occasions you see are those on a TV set, you need to sort this out.  Don’t ignore it as it can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression and desperation on both sides. But you can’t pressure the other person either. So why not make it a game.

Both of you have to make a list of all the nice things you would like to do/have done to each other; you should forget revenge and mayhem (really bad for saving a relationship). Each person gets a turn having one item on their list. She may want you to run her a nice, hot bath and allow her to soak for an hour; with only the candles for company. And guess what that can lead to for the man.

Rediscover the passion that brought you together in the first place. Let’s face it most couples do not get involved due to the fantastic conversation.  There has to be the “X” factor as well. But when you have shared what seems to be a lifetime, the roaring flames of desire may now resemble a smouldering ember. However, the good news is, with work by you both, you can fan those “smoldering ember’s into an all consuming fire of passion.

Couples that laugh together, share their inner most thoughts and feelings, make time for one another are the most likely to be walking hand in hand; sharing their twilight years. Life isn’t a bed of roses, but it’s a lot more fun when you share it with someone you love.

These are just a few of the things involved in “how to prevent a long term relationship breakup”. Be sure you take the time to implement these things now and stop any further damage to your relationship.