Archive for April, 2010

Well, you blew it and now you are crying, “I want my wife back!” Was it something dumb that you did or kept doing? You probably had it coming, then. You dug your hole and now you’re stuck in it. So are you going to just stay in that hole or are you going to try and climb out of it? If you are serious when you say, “I want my wife back” then you better get climbing and climbing fast.

Those who “want my wife back” need to know this word: HUMILITY. You better believe that it is going to take some crawling and some begging if you are going to get her back. You can’t start feeling that you are too good to come back to her on your knees. If she is still mad at you, you probably deserve it.

The first thing you need to do is admit that you messed up. Don’t make excuses for it and don’t try to cover it up. If she starts telling you how bad it is, you have to agree with it. This is no time to try and defend what you did. Don’t lie about it, you have to be honest. Lying will only get you in more trouble. Also, don’t try and gloss over it saying it wasn’t that big of a deal. If it cost you your marriage, then obviously it was a big deal.

The second thing that you are going to have to do is not just tell her that you are going to better. You may have tried that before but didn’t get better. You have to make her believe it. It will take more than words to get her to believe it. If there is something that you did that you should stop doing then you probably need to take steps to stop it.

For those of you that have a problem with drugs or alcohol, you better go and get some help. You should be working on that before you start telling her that you are trying to change. If it has to do with anger issues, get enrolled in anger management classes and start taking them. Whatever problem it is she says you have, you better be making steps to get it corrected. If you really “want my wife back” you better get serious about making those changes.

You may find this to be a lot of work and that is because it is hard work. You may think that you are just fine the way you are but “the way you are” caused the breakup to happen in the first place. The way you were wasn’t good enough.

Your pride may cause you to believe that you are too good to do a lot of the above but to get your wife back you need to lose your pride and learn a lot of humility. You can’t let your pride get in the way of doing what you need to do to when you “want my wife back”.

If you want to know how to get your ex girlfriend back, you are probably wanting to know how to get your ex-girlfriend back forever. You went through the pain once and you probably don’t want to go through it again. You made mistakes, now it’s time to take a step back and evaluate the situation and figure out where to go from this point. Learning how to win ex girlfriend back may mean that you have to change the way you do things. You will have to take a FOREVER approach.

Fouled Up:

Admit that you did it. Admit that you made mistakes that cost you this relationship. You have to be able to own up to your mistakes and that means you have to own them. They were your mistakes, not anyone else’s. Admit it. This is the best place to start if you want to know how to win your ex girlfriend back.
Objectively Look At Yourself: Take a good long look at who you are and what was it about you that caused this to happen. Were your mistakes a symptom of a bigger problem that you have? If it was, find out what it was. Look for the bigger picture.

Regret What Happened:

There are some who will tell you to regret nothing. That is incredibly bad advice. If you made a mistake that hurt someone, you should feel regret and guilt. You should feel even worse if it was someone that you love.

Evaluate the Situation:

Assess the damage done. One of the things that people have to do when they are trying to rebuild something that was destroyed is to look around and see what just happened. Once the source of the destruction (your mistakes) has been identified it’s time to see what remains. Is there anything worth saving left? Is there enough left that can be built back? Hopefully there is still a foundation left and the damage wasn’t so much that there is nothing left to rebuild. You will have to do this if you want to know how to get your ex girlfriend back.

Verify That You Have A Chance:

You may be totally dedicated to trying and put things back together but your ex girlfriend may not be. It is hard to win back your ex if they have no desire to bring the love or the relationship back. If they have decided to move on, there may be nothing you can do about it. That is the reality of the situation, that your actions and mistakes may have consequences that involve you losing your girlfriend forever.

Engage In Dialogue:

If your ex girlfriend is willing to talk about anything at all, let it happen. You may have to endure her venting on you and blasting who you are and letting you know how big the mistakes were that you made. This is no time to get defensive.
Hopefully these were all things that you realized on your own but hearing it may give you more resolve to correct those mistakes.

Respect:

Respect what she says. Respect her feelings. Respect her wishes. Treat her with respect.

It may be tough to do but if you really want to know how to get your ex girlfriend back forever, you will have to take your  medicine.

To get your ex back you may have to learn how to be sneaky. Getting back together with you may be the last thing on their mind but it is at the forefront of yours. You will have to learn to be more covert in how you interact with this person so they don’t know what you are up to.

Trying to figure out how to get your ex back is something that many people try to do who weren’t ready for the relationship or marriage to end. Any divorce or break up usually has one person that is still hanging. It might be obvious to the person that wants to move on that you weren’t ready to and want to get an ex back.

Do things that make is look like you are ready to move on and that you aren’t trying to get your ex back. Have fun. Go out with friends and have a blast. Don’t try and rub their nose in it. Be obvious to their friends, though, that you are going out and having fun. Word will get back to them that you are back and if you are moving forward faster than what they are, it might bother them.

When the two of you do talk, don’t fill their head with all these things that you are doing. Just let them know that you are happy. It will be easy to try and make them feel jealous. This may happen anyway. Try and make it seem like their life is worth being happy about as well. It may not seem like it but this will go a long way in trying to get back an ex. You are trying to make them feel like a more stable and independent person and that is a quality that most people are drawn to.

Give it some time. You may think about them every day but you don’t need to let them know about that for a while. It may be too obvious that you are only interested in trying to get an ex back. Wait a couple weeks and then call them up or send them a message asking how things are going. Sound as much like an old friend as you can. Think about how old friends have tried to get back in touch with you and do the same thing.

When/if they start talking, just let them talk. They will be more likely to be drawn to someone who values what they have to say and that may be a huge difference from the way things may have been. You may need them but let them get to a point where they value having you because you will listen to them. You may find them needing you and trying to get an ex back.

After you have been able to keep this up and re-develop a friendship they may want to get back together with you. While you may consider yourself pursuing them, you may find yourself being pursued. It is very likely, though, that you won’t have to make the first move. It could be they would rather do it themselves. The best way to get your ex back is to have them wanting to get you back.

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“Why do I want My ex back?” has been the cry of many who have been unable to let go of a love that has past them by. It is an understandable question to ask. Common sense tells you that you need to move on and most of your closest friends are hoping that you will. Your ex most likely is wishing that you could move on as well. So why is it that you have to keep asking yourself, “Why do I want my ex back?”

When you are asking, “Why do I want my ex back?” consider what has just happened. You were in a love relationship of some kind, may be a marriage. It may have lasted a long time or only a short time but in either case, you had a lot invested in it. It is hard to let go of things and ideas that you may have been really attached to.

Most people do not enter into relationships lightly. They go into them hoping for something that will last a long time and just want love. You have dreams of the way that things could be. You have an idea of the way things should be. For some reason it doesn’t happen. The bubble bursts on your idea and then you are left hanging on. It made such good and almost perfect sense at the time and then it is gone. You have to adjust to the idea that what you saw isn’t there anymore if it was at all.

Was it love or just the idea of being in love? The lines get so confusing sometimes. Was the love ever there? It is very likely that it was at one point. The only problem was that it wasn’t permanent. The two of you became incredibly important parts of each other. You get used to having certain things or people attached to you and when they are gone your mind may have trouble adjusting.

There are those who have lost limbs who still feel a phantom itch in the appendage that is now gone. There are still brain cells that are telling you that what isn’t there itches and there isn’t a thing you can do about it unless you retrain your brain.

The same thing is true for those who were intimately attached to someone, whether it was romantic or platonic in nature. If those people are removed for some reason, those parts of your brain that had grown accustomed to that loved one being there will have to adjust. While your brain is adjusting to the change, you are left thinking about them almost against your will.

If you are frustrated because you keep asking yourself, “Why do I want my ex back?” don’t get too distraught over it. It may help you to get some advice on how to get over a relationship from someone who has been there or who understands and has helped others. It is only natural that you will have trouble with it and “want my ex back.” Give it some time, get some help, and get distracted and in time you will no longer be asking, “Why do I want my ex back?”

When your love goes sour, you lock yourself away from the world. It’s hard to deal with reality when everything just reminds you of your ex. You feel as if a part of you has been ripped shred into smithereens. Life goes on. Before you work on the aspects of your failed relationship, you need to work on yourself first.

Then you can move on and try to save your relationship. You talk to them and show them why they should take you back. You even apologize for the things you didn’t do. You make promises and basically beg. Even if you’ve done everything within your power, they become more and more defensive. The further you push, the worse things become. Is this the way to go? No one deserves to go so low. In fact, you should love yourself more. In fact, you will even regret what you do and see that you’ve done things that leave you feeling ashamed.

Love shouldn’t make you look so ridiculous. In fact, it should give you a feeling of satisfaction. There are millions of books and magazines that talk about how you should handle relationships. But these things don’t really help much when things just seem to look like it’s beyond saving. The Magic of Making Up has discovered the true recipe for love. It gives you a step-by-step plan of what to do without making you look like a fool. The key move here is to keep your dignity intact, and that’s the best part about it.